Thursday, August 31, 2006

Thoughts on 31

I've felt a little more peaceful overall lately than I have for a while. I still have moods, and they are often quite intense, but they go as quickly as they come. I have bad days, but not so much bad weeks or bad months.

I'm not sure why this is. I think in some ways, I may be coming into my own. I've decided that I'm my own hero and my own best friend, which is an incredibly powerful thing. I don't put that expectation on others. A while ago I was complaining to Oxy about someone who didn't meet my expectations for supporting me. I told her what I wished he would have said to encourage me. She said "Well, what do you need him for, if you already know it?" I knew she was right, but I wasn't ready. I think I am now. I know how to pick myself up, to hold myself upright, to soothe my own soul. It's kind of too bad that this isn't something that is taught us our whole lives. We're thought to be full of ourselves and selfish if we're our own cheerleaders. I'm my biggest fan. If I can be that for myself, it gives me more energy to be a cheerleader for other people. I love seeing my young nieces be proud of their accomplishments, and defend themselves against people who try to bring them down. I think everyone should learn to be their own hero. Ha ha... "I believe the children are our future..." Super cheesy song, but it's true.

I kind of wonder if men are baffled by women's emotions in part because they don't feel the need for support the way women do. Maybe men aren't dragged down the same way women are dragged down by others if they try to show some pride in themselves. Men have cheerleaders, and women are the cheerleaders for men, but not for themselves.

I haven't felt quite as compulsive lately. I ask myself whether I really want to do something, and if I don't want to, I don't. I think I was never really taught to think very hard about what it is I wanted. I was always told what to do. I spent my childhood trying to be obedient and to just do what my parents or teachers wanted. I spent my teenager years feeling trapped, and I think for the same reasons, I spent most of my time in my 20's feeling lost. I have a harsh voice in my head, a mean conscience. I also have a nice one, too, and that is the one I'm going to be friends with. I want to leave the mean conscience behind entirely. I don't want that voice escaping from my mouth if I have children.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Hendrik is going tonight!

Hendrik is going to start his Channel swim at 2:30 a.m. GMT, or 6:30 p.m. PST. I'm going to post updates on his swim on the web as he progresses towards France. Good luck, Hendrik!

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Pinecrest Lake, 2006

Raybon and I drove up on Friday to Pinecrest Lake. In a very rare turn of events, I actually drove us most of the way. He had told me that morning that I would be able to nap on my way there, which I looked forward to, as I didn't sleep well Thursday night. But Raybon needed to get some work done, and so he sat in the passenger seat with his laptop while I drove. I joked to him, "What did I bring you for, if I have to drive?"

We ate dinner in Sonora, at a little Italian restaurant called Pinocchio's. We had eaten at Appleby's last year, and were kind of grossed out by it. I thought I should carbo-load, so we decided to try this little local place. We got in, and I was a little frightened by it. It was decorated mostly with toys from the Disney movie, some of them very old and dirty looking. We sat at one of the tables, and I was a little scared to find that it was actually dusty. This meant two things to me: no customers, and lack of cleanliness. The menus were a little bit sticky. I wanted to bail, but Raybon got upset and told me not to complain. Our waitress came out and took our orders. She was young, blonde, with too much makeup and a little cleavage, but seemed like a nice girl none the less. I ordered spaghetti, and Raybon ordered lasagna. I was relieved when she brought out our silverware, and it looked clean. The food was actually awesome. It reminded me of my Mom's spaghettti sauce, and her garlic bread recipe, which I try to emulate.


Raybon had bragged in the car about how fast he could take down a tent, so when we got to Pinecrest, I got my stop watch out and timed him. I don't remember how long it took exactly, but not much longer than ten minutes to get the whole camp set up. Pretty impressive, Mr. Eagle Scout.

We went to the little store at the campground and bought s'mores ingredients. I told Raybon and the clerk "Did you know that my Mom invented s'mores? She told me so." They both laughed at me. I was just joking, but they thought I really believed my mom invented them. Raybon made a fire and we made s'mores. I cooked the marshmallows with some Cowboy Hank's Hot Dog holders I got as a freebie from the 2 x 1 relay I did with my Mom at Quarry Lakes last year. I suggested we tell stories, but Raybon said he didn't know any, so I suggested we take turns telling Snow White and the Seven Dwarves sentence by sentence. He didn't remember the story, so I told it myself. I had fun roasting marshmallows for Raybon, because he seemed to enjoy them. I like feeding people. It was nice watching him eat and enjoy something without the TV on for a change.

I got up the next morning a little late, and we drove down to the swim. We saw Mark, who lives in Flip Flop, and has a place near the lake. He invited us to spend the night at his cabin with his family. The swim was fun. I was pleased with my 1 mile time, but not with my 2 mile time as much, although both were better than last years. Mark had a sore shoulder, and I a sore back after the 1 mile so we were both debating whether or not to do the 2 mile. We decided our egos were too big to wimp out, so we swam anyways, and both of our bodies felt better than ever afterwards. I guess they just needed warming up.

When I got out of the 2 mile, Raybon told me I got 3rd out of 10 in the 1 mile swim. I liked little trinkets, so I was pleased that I would get a medal. I went to warm down, and as I was getting out, I stubbed my toe. Raybon yelled to me "You got bumped. They wrote in someone above you, so now you're in 4th place." I said with the dry humor I get from my Dad "What a load of crap. I bet the person swims for the team running the event. She probably just made the time up herself." People around, especially the age group swimmers, looked at me horrified. They had no idea I was just joking. :( It's interesting who recognizes you that you don't even know if you do these swims, so I hope I don't develop a reputation as a bitch because people don't know I was joking. 4th place is fine. The most important thing is that I swam hard, and way down below that the next most important thing is that I had a time I'm pleased with. How I place and little trinkets like medals and ribbons is just amusing.

We had a very nice time with Mark and his family. They were very hospitable, and made us a very nice dinner. Their kids were great, too. We played scrabble together. Mark made some sourdough pancakes for breakfast. He was pleased when I said they were the best pancakes ever, which I really think they were. We all went hiking together this morning in a beautiful area with lovely views and nice lake up near Dodge Ridge. They seemed to appreciate our company, too, which is always nice. I'm always a little surprised when people like me, which I guess is a little silly. I hope we get to know them better in the future, as it's always good to have more nice people in your life.

We had a nice trip, but it's nice to be back home. It was really good to get out of town, but I like our quiet home here, too.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Frenemies

I deleted this post. I would feel bad if the person I wrote about read it and got upset. I vented, I'm over it, it's out of Cyberspace. Thanks for the love, Camille and Eleven!

Name Change

Can I still be Seaweed Girl if I'm 31? Do I need to be Seaweed Woman? It just doesn't have the same ring to it. When do I stop being a girl?

The picture in my profile is one that a guy I didn't know took and put on his website. He didn't know my name, so the picture was called Girl-Sweatshirt.jpg. I think I've finally reached an age where being called "girl" might be considered a compliment. I used to insist on being called a woman in high school. "Girl" or even "lady" was offensive.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Breast Implants Linked to Higher Suicide Rates

Raybon sent me this link:

http://suicidegirls.com/news/culture/17739/

I'm twisted. There is part of me that finds this oddly gratifying. That I am now somehow justified in feeling superior to women who are obsessed with perfecting their appearances through surgery or other means. Isn't that awful? I should just feel compassionate towards them. We're all in the same boat.

Plastic surgery has always seemed violent to me. When you think about the actual process, it must be traumatic to the person having the surgery. Going under, being cut open, having your skin peeled back, injecting toxins into your skin. When you do these things to save your life or health, it seems positive, but it seems sad when people do this to try to conform to a standard that no one can ever meet.

Monday, August 21, 2006

All Your Snakes Are Belong to Us

Raybon complained that he hasn't had anything to read lately, since Camille and I haven't been as prolific lately. I've been busy. It was my birthday on Friday. I turned 31. Yes, I'm officially old. It doesn't feel too bad. 30 was sort of ambiguous, clutching on the last strings of my youth.

I had a very nice birthday. The day started out slow, which was nice. I just did my daily routine and some quiet chores around the house. I went to Flip and bought myself a much needed two-piece workout bikini. My old one was at least two years old, and my tanks chafe too much and are too much of a pain to deck change out of.

I had a lot of fun at my party. I wish I had more time to talk to everyone who was there. There were over 20 people there. I thought I'd use my birthday as a good occasion for nice people to hang out with other nice people. A lot of my lane mates came, and some old friends, too. I got a little bit buzzed. My coworker Terese said she'd never seen me so smiley before. I like being buzzed, but I paid for it all weekend. I'm still sort of paying for it. My sleep cycle is off. I slept most of Saturday, and have to get back on a "sleeping is for night time" rhythm.

Saturday was Hendrik's English Channel Send-Off party. I was pretty beat from the night before, but I wanted to wish him well, and hoped I would be part of a good showing of people there to support him. There were lots of people there to wish him well. I hope they raised a lot of money for WomenCARE, the cancer support organization he is swimming for. I left after staying for just a bit, and gave him and 007 (his crew member) a hug goodbye, as it is probably the last time I'll get a chance to see them before they are off to England. I'm going to track his swim on the web, which is really exciting to me, because I get to be a real-time participant in the event, even though I'll be far away.

Later that evening I had dinner with Ric, E.K., and their teenage boys. That was a really nice time, and actually much more my speed than my birthday party the night before was. (Not that I didn't have as much fun at my birthday party, but all large parties are hard for me.) E.K. cooked us a fantastic meal. I really enjoy their friendship, and it's nice seeing their kids grow up into such nice young men.

The next day was Oceana and N-Dawg's pre-baby party, which Eleven and I hosted. Eleven and I were a little anxious about it, but things turned out well. We had a nice barbecue with grilled veggies and salads and appetizers. Oceana seemed happy, which made the effort more than worth it. I tried taking pictures with my new digital camera, but they all turned out very badly. It's hard taking pictures of people. I thought it would be a nice thing for an introvert to hide behind a camera, but people do notice you, and it makes me nervous. I'm not going to post any of the terrible pictures I took on the web. Sorry. I hope I get better at it.

I'm supposed to go up to Pinecrest for a swim this weekend, but we'll see. I may be too exhausted still.

Yes, I know my title has seemingly nothing to do with my post. That's pretty obnoxious, isn't it?

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Mirror Me

I got a new digital camera today as a birthday present from Raybon. I wanted it so that I can take pictures to post on this blog. Being the narcissist that I am, of course the first picture I post is of myself.

I liked the picture of myself I took in the mirror better than I like most pictures of myself. I think that this is because it looks like what I think I look like, since most of the time when I see myself, it is the mirror image of me. My face isn't symmetrical. I much prefer my left side to my right side. I think when I look at myself in the mirror, I've somehow trained myself to look at my left side more than my right side, and when I see a picture, it shows me a view of me I haven't gotten used to. As I get to know people, and like them, they become more attractive to me, not sexually, but just generally. So maybe it is a good sign that I like the mirror me. Maybe it means I like myself.

Which view of me is the mirror image, and which did I flip in PhotoShop? Can you tell? I can.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Yahweh

I think I have this song in my head because I'm reading Foucalt's Pendulum (recommended by Eleven and Camille.) But it resonates with what is going on my life right now, so I'm posting it.

U2 LYRICS

"Yahweh"

Take these shoes
Click clacking down some dead end street
Take these shoes
And make them fit
Take this shirt
Polyester white trash made in nowhere
Take this shirt
And make it clean, clean
Take this soul
Stranded in some skin and bones
Take this soul
And make it sing

Yahweh, Yahweh
Always pain before a child is born
Yahweh, Yahweh
Still I'm waiting for the dawn

Take these hands
Teach them what to carry
Take these hands
Don't make a fist
Take this mouth
So quick to criticise
Take this mouth
Give it a kiss

Yahweh, Yahweh
Always pain before a child is born
Yahweh, Yahweh
Still I'm waiting for the dawn

Still waiting for the dawn, the sun is coming up
The sun is coming up on the ocean
This love is like a drop in the ocean
This love is like a drop in the ocean

Yahweh, Yahweh
Always pain before a child is born
Yahweh, tell me now
Why the dark before the dawn?

Take this city
A city should be shining on a hill
Take this city
If it be your will
What no man can own, no man can take
Take this heart
Take this heart
Take this heart
And make it break

Sorry

I'm sorry I called the coach at Mountain Masters flakey. Her car wasn't working, so she couldn't make it. I'm not supposed to say anything bad. And I like her. Although, I was a little disappointed when I saw her there, because I wanted to do the workout I had brought. I like pretending to be a coach.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Coach Seaweed

I've started swimming at the Mountain branch of Flip Flop Masters. This is where I first joined Masters 3 years ago. It is a small group of swimmers, out at a high school surrounded by redwood trees. Sometimes when I go, the only other person there is a woman named Nancy. The most people that I've ever seen there is 12. Rumor has it that they sometimes have a coach there regularly. Right now, whoever is supposed to be coaching is flaking out. They have trouble keeping coaches. There are no showers or locker rooms for our use. I guess they don't want weirdo grownup swimmers potentially mingling with the high school students. With so few people there, there usually isn't anyone my speed to pace against, which is probably the case for most of the people there. During the winter, we have to pull the covers off of the pool in the morning, and then pull them back on right after practice.

It takes me 15 minutes to get to the Mountain Pool, and an extra 15 to get to the pool in Flip Flop proper. After about a year of swimming at the Mountain Pool, I decided to make the extra long drive into Flip for my morning swims, when the coach didn't show up. We had got into trouble for not having a coach previously, because we're supposed to have someone on deck at all times. I was finding it hard to show up at practice at 6 a.m., when I would get there and it would be maybe me and Nancy, and no coach, and sometimes we wouldn't be able to swim. I would sometimes swim in Flip on Saturdays or at noon when I was taking a mental health day, and I liked being able to swim with people my speed, and having a dependable coach who helped me with my stroke.

When I first started swimming in Flip in the mornings, I thought it was the best thing ever. I totally fell in love with it. I thought everyone was wonderful, the coaches superb, the workouts great. There were yoga classes after practice with the best yoga teacher in the whole world, Julie. I loved swimming with other people and racing against them every practice. I got faster very, very quickly. After swimming there for 2 week, I did a 2 mile open water race 8 minutes faster than one I did just 2 months before.

Then... The honeymoon ended quickly. I didn't understand lane etiquette, and offended people without even knowing it. Because I'm shy, people thought I was stuck-up. That and the fact that I raced against them in practice, and tried to lap people made some people think I was a bitch. I had no idea I was gaining a reputation, because I was so enamored with the whole concept of Masters, and thinking everyone was my friend. I was broken hearted when I found out some people really didn't like me.

Now... I like almost everyone at Flip Flop Masters. I understand a little bit better how not to offend people, and I'm more understanding of people when they come off as competitive or grumpy. People who I had problems with like me, and I like them. All is forgiven and understood as a misunderstanding.

Still... I've switched back to swimming in the Mountains. I miss swimming in Flip, and am glad that a lot of the people I swim with will be at my birthday party this week. But a lot of the reasons I started commuting to Flip Flop aren't really useful to me right now. I liked having a coach who cared about my growth as a swimmer. But I need to find my own intrinsic motivation, which I fortunately am finding in abundance. I liked pacing myself against others. But now I find myself stuck in the same lane with the same people isn't helping me grow as a swimmer. I need to learn to pace myself anyways if I'm going to swim in races against people I don't normally swim against.

So... The coach there has started flaking. I almost went down to Flip and started swimming there one morning when she didn't show up. Instead, I gave everyone there a workout to do together. Later that week, I bought a 2' x 3' whiteboard, and am going to bring it with a workout written on it every time I go to swim at the Mountain Pool. People seem happy with my workouts, and do them. I hope they don't think I'm bossy or power hungry. I'm having fun pretending to be a coach. I have dreams of having the Mountain Masters team grow if I keep showing up there regularly with a workout. I'm thinking about creating a website for them, and trying to recruit more people. This is all a fantasy in my head, just like the one I had when I first started swimming in Flip Flop, how I thought it was the most wonderful, perfect thing in the whole world, with the best coach in the whole world. Maybe everyone will resent me for being bossy. Maybe a real coach will show up regularly, or we'll all take turns writing workouts. Probably the team won't get any bigger. It's hard for me to not get my hopes up, though. I'm not the best swimmer in the whole world, but I think I might make a good coach. Who knows? Maybe, maybe not.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

U-G-L-Y

I've been feeling kind of ugly lately. I hated most of the pictures that Raybon took of me at Alcatraz, and some pictures I took of myself while we were in the car in a drivethrough car wash. I don't think a speedo tank is the most figure flattering thing on me right now. Not so bad when I was a little thinner. The close-ups of the makeup-less me I took in the car of myself looked bad to me. My sweet husband Raybon disagreed. I haven't been feeling as sexy lately, anyways. In the past couples of years I've been more confident of my attractiveness, and not been afraid to try to be a little bit more attractive and friendly, although hopefully not skanky. Recently, I feel like I've been burned a little bit by guys taking my friendliness the wrong way, and hitting on me even when they know I'm married. So I feel like I've had to repress a part of my personality. I shouldn't have to do this, should I? Shouldn't I be able to be happy and complimentary and interested when I talk to someone of the opposite sex, and not have him take it the wrong way?

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Alcatraz, etc

The Alcatraz swim was fun. The water was warm, 64, the warmest it has been in 8 years. Didn't stop most people from using wetsuits, but I swam in my bathing suit. I was sore from yesterday, but I swam pretty hard for part of it, because a paddler told me I should pick it up because the area in the opening to Aquatic Park which we were swimming to was flooding. Today's swim was nice, but harder in some ways then yesterday's, because my arms are still fatigued. My shoulder also was chafed from my suit from the swim yesterday, and my back hurt. I can block stuff like that out better when I'm racing, but I felt a little whiny today. But it was so much fun to be out in the bay, and imaging that I was swimming for my life. Alcatraz is one of the few swims that will mean anything to non-swimmers. People think about escaping from Alcatraz as being an impossible feat, even though hundred of people do swim it every year.

A former coworker of mine, Reilly, was at the swim. She was there with her family. Her dad was doing the swim, and her mom and sister came out to support them. They seemed like such great people, a really lovely family. Smart, friendly, active, supportive. I almost fell in love with them. I wonder if they got weirded out by that. I like meeting good people and seeing nice families. It makes me feel better about the world.

We walked along Pier 39 a bit. A homeless guy asked to trade hats with me. I didn't want his hat, but I gave him mine. It was the hat shown in my FINA badge two posts below. I kind of liked that hat, but it is kind of redundant in purpose to a tan fisherman type hat I have, so I gave it to him. I decided I needed a new hat that wasn't redundant to my tan fisherman hat, anyways, so we went and found a hat for me, shown in the picture above. I wanted a hat that was a little bit more stylish. I don't always want to look like a swimmer/Patagonia girl. I got new glasses, Thursday, which I'm really excited about. They have black frames, with some lacey embellishment on the sides. They look a little funky, which is a side of me I haven't shown for a while. I took some pictures of myself with them on, but I don't like the way they turned out. I'll take some more and post them later.

Friday, August 11, 2006

GRRR!!!

Stupid FINA website. Post results for pools races in real-time, and don't even have the open water results up 6 hours after the race is over. Doesn't post up to date information clearly on website. Have to search high and low for information about shuttles. Nothing about parking. GRRR!!!!

My website is supposed to be completely positive, but I don't care right now. All you people who I have grudges against, better watch out. Just kidding. Soooo tempting though.

Working through my pissy mood

I just read Camille's blog, and it's all about how grumpy she is. Thanks, Camille! Misery loves company. I'm in a pissy, pissy mood, and have been since Monday. My back is killing me. I really should be lying flat somewhere instead of sitting here blogging. I like to think I'm not much a bitch, but I really have been lately. Raybon and I got in a fight about...well, none of your business, I guess. Touchy, touchy subject. Then today, I was trying to take a nap, and he came in and started setting up a vertical fan we got in the mail on the bed. I yelled at him about it. The thing is, I'm not even mad at him. When I yelled, it was like yelling into a pillow. I'm just mad. I want to yell. I said I was sorry and told Raybon to sit next to me, kiss my forehead, and pat my head. He refused. I had scared him off.

Sooo...my solution.... Ice cream. Marianne's fresh banana with Scharffen Berger Chocolate Sauce. I feel much better now. This is the second time this week I have violated my anti-sugar campaign. I'll keep you posted on how I feel later.

I swam at the Master's World Championship's Open Water Competition in Alameda today. 3 KM. It was a tough swim in a lot of ways. It was violent. The waves were about as rough as I've ever swam in, and I got punched, elbowed and kicked way more than I have in any other open water swim. I almost cussed the guys out. It is almost always men who do this to me, not women. They just run people over. With 900 participants in the swim, and some very narrow openings, it was like a mosh pit. When I thought of it that way, I decided it was actually fun being beaten up. Swimming isn't much of a contact sport, but hey, those have their times and places, don't they? There was a big part of me that didn't want to go today. I'm not sure if I'm glad I went or not. I like small swims. It was kind of cool meeting people from other countries, but being in a pissy mood, that wasn't all it was cracked up to be either. The swim did have its moments. Being out in the bay, tossed around in the waves, was a little scary at first, but it reminded why I love the sea. I love its power and unpredictability. It's the only part of my life that shows that I'm a daredevil.

Things to take away from the swim: I don't know whether my time was good or not, but that's OK. I tried hard, and even if I didn't, hey it's over. I realize that when I'm swimming long distances, I'm bound to space out and not focus occasionally, because that's just me. But I need to remember that it is the moment in the race that you're in that matters. Push when you need to push, find the water when you need to find it, relax when you need to catch up with yourself and what's going on around you. If you screw up, let it go, and focus on the moment. I love how sports are a metaphor for life's challenges, and help you act out mental patterns that are necessary for any kind of challenge in life.

I was hesitant about going to World's. The idea of competing with people around the world and some elite swimmers wasn't as exciting to me as to other people. I knew the swim would be crowded, which really isn't my thing. Did I enjoy myself? I don't know? Like I said, it had its moments. Regret is stupid, though. I'll take what I learned and enjoyed and leave the rest behind.

Tomorrow, my first Alcatraz? My back is pretty owee, but I'm hoping an enjoyable swim will do the trick to fix it up. I've wanted to do it for a while, and already paid $125, so even though it may not be the ideal time, we'll see how it goes.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Happy Birthday, Raybon!

Today is my husband Raybon's birthday. I'm blogging on his phone outside the Hindquarter in Flip Flop. I procrastinated on making party plans. Well, I guess I've been busy. 10 people are supposed to show up, tho, so everything worked out OK, I guess.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

freedom!

I'm blogging from Raybon's Palm. We are sitting in the 9 waiting for Clerks's 2 to start.

We had breakfast with Oxy at a Mexican cafe near the beach. It was nice to have some grownup, non-LDS conversation. After breakfast we sat at the beach for a while. I left to go to the bathroom on my own, and on the way I passed a guy with a dog. I said, 'Hi puppy.' Some women passed by and asked 'Is that a puppy?' The guy said 'He's 6 years old.' I told him off in my head, 'In my mind all dogs are puppies. They are mentally equivalent to 2 year olds, so they are always babies.' Then I thought, 'Who cares? Why can't I think dogs are puppies and just let him think whatever without feeling the need to be defensive.' I tried to let it go, and I mostly did, but I still felt the need to tell Raybon and Oxy about it. And here I am blogging about it. What can I say, I'm a work in progress.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

M.P. Masters

I tried out a new Masters Club today. They used to be a couple of towns down from my work, but they just moved to a new location less than 5 minutes away. They seem like a really nice group of people.

M.P. Masters has some things about it that are very appealing. The people are super friendly. The coach seems very nice, friendly, and enthusiastic. Their team is very active in competitions. The whole team was doing a workout aimed towards tapering for World's today. It is close to my work. I have to drive 30 minutes to get to the pool in Flip Flop, longer at noon and evening. However, their workouts are only 1 hour long, which is disappointing to me, since I'm used to 1.5 hour workouts. It's also more expensive than F.F. Masters, by $27.00 a month.

I probably won't join, although I liked the club. If they had a punch card system so that I could pay per workout, I would probably go once or twice a week. If I ever start working in the office more, I would consider joining, but I'd miss my club. I have roots there. I had a really hard time when I first joined adjusting to swimming there. Understanding lane dynamics and the temperment of competitive athletes is still challenging to me, but now I really like everyone. I guess I'd still swim there occasionally, but even changing my affiliation would make me sad. I love Flip Flop Masters. It's a little bit like a family. My family isn't perfect, but I wouldn't trade it for a different one. Does that make any sense at all? I've never felt that way about a school, a club, or a job before. I guess I've always thought of those things as temporary, but I've settled into thinking I'd be swimming with Flip Flop Masters for a while.

Raybon's family pics


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